Thursday, August 19, 2004

New Jersey Comedy ACT II

Update New Jersey, a comedy only looks more like a farce. Not because of McGreevey either.

The New York Daily News had three writers labor over this story entitled, "I was Cipel's lover" Please note the names of the three staff writers for posterity. RALPH R. ORTEGA, ALISON GENDAR and NANCY DILLON. Knowing the Diversity Requirement for Newsrooms, it's easy to imagine one is Gay, one is Jewish and one is the Stepford Wife writer who types with the others looking over his shoulder for possible ethnic/religious/sexual violations. One of them speaks Spanish for the interview, which, by the way, they never said they attended so maybe Ralph can't get credit for being bilingual after all.

(Three more are credited at the end of the article, which makes it a total of six who wrote the story. This is relevant only because you wonder how that many people would want to claim participation in writing something so bad.)

The gay lover is, frighteningly enough for our educational system, a college professor named Dr. David Miller. We know he's a college professor because the NY Daily News told us so yesterday when they said he might wreck Cipel's claims that he was not gay. Miller is "a doctor and adjunct professor at Montclair State University." I would never have picked up on that doctor thing if the reporters hadn't told me what the Dr. meant earlier in the story. Doctor of what? And did the journos check the University web site to see? (Am I going to do it for them? Hell no. )

The interview with Miller was conducted in Spanish -- at Miller's insistence because Miller said "he hates the United States." He was "shirtless and wearing purple shorts" -- why the description of clothes is essential in any article is something I can't fathom when it doesn't have any direct bearing. In this case, the purple might be considered a clue except for the P.C. Prince or Princess on duty (see Diversity Requirements for Newsroom above) so we have to accept that it referred to poor dressing on his part.

It was a "manic, disjointed interview" by a man who told reporters he "he is a CIA operative who takes pills doled out by the intelligence agency to make his skin darker so he can infiltrate unnamed groups." This would be strange enough except for the three wizbang journos who followed it immediately with skepticism: "He offered no mementos, letters or photos as proof of his relationship with Cipel."

Me, I wanna know about the CIA and the tanning pills because my Spanish is tolerable and I am pale.

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